Milk and Tea
by saiyuri-dahlia
Summary: Link wants to ask the cute redhead he just waited on out, but he hasn't been the luckiest in love. He's not expecting anything different from his usual flings, but just once he'd like to have a serious relationship... ShadLink, Coffee Shop AU, part 3 of 3
1. Part One: Milk and Tea

Story Title: Milk and Tea

Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight Princess.

Author's Notes: I always wanted to write a coffee shop AU. It's one of the quintessential fic prompts. Every ship has gotta have their Coffee Shop AU, y'know? Though truth be told, Link and Ilia work at a coffee shop/cafe/bakery all in one. It's like a Starbucks you can have a light meal at and leave with a dozen cupcakes and a loaf of bread. ...Which sounds pretty nice right now.

If it's not obvious, the title is Link and Shad's drinks of choice—the former being popular fanon for Link and the latter being my headcanon for Shad. There's a part two coming soon, hence it's a part of a (very small) series. As always, thanks for reading.

-o-

Story Title: Milk and Tea

-o-

"Ilia, ring me up for a roll," Link leaned over and murmured, after the cute redhead he had just waited on walked toward the more private section toward the back. Shad was name he gave for the cup. Shad with the big curly lock of hair on his forehead. Shad with the brown leather backpack. Shad with the big blue eyes and the glasses and the bashful smile and the light freckles on his cheeks...

"Why?" she asked. Her father gave all employees a free meal, and at the end of the day any breads, pastries, and such that were still good but had to be thrown out to be remade fresh in the morning were divided among the staff. There was always food and drinks in the break room. Link rarely needed to actually buy anything at work.

"It's not for me," he quickly explained and waved his hand for her to hurry up.

Ilia's glare prompted a quick apology. Link wasn't trying to rush her. He was just excited. Link didn't believe in soulmates, but it was hard to argue with himself when his chest felt like his soul had grabbed him by the shirt, pointed at Shad, and shouted at him that this guy was gonna be important to him. Link had no idea how he had completed his transaction. He must have gone into complete autopilot. All Link remembered was him staring and smiling a lot at the fellow, and that Shad had a cute accent, and he had heard his brain repeatedly tell him not to screw this one up.

Link picked out the cinnamon roll. It was a few minutes after ten-thirty, so it was still kinda breakfast time, right? The morning coffee rush was long done for the day, so the cafe traffic was slow. He quickly checked his apron for any stains or streaks of powdered sugar or whatnot, and there wasn't. He seemed to be in the clear on all counts.

Link headed toward the back where Shad was studying and taking notes. He had a whole spread of open books and notebooks across the table. He dressed like a professor in a light pink shirt and a dark blue bow-tie with light pink polka-dots, but he was probably still a student. Maybe a teacher's aide. Link swore he looked closer to his age though.

Oh Goddesses_,_ he should have thought of something to say before he was on his way to his table! A compliment would make it too obvious that he was trying to flirt with him. Link had heard every shameless come-on there was, but there was no way he was going to parrot one of those back at him.

If he just took a deep breath, stayed calm and cool, and didn't devolve his words into short phrases and one-word sentences, everything would be fine, Link told himself. He stopped beside his table and the surprised fellow slid off his headphones. Link briefly heard classical music. "Minuet of Forest", as played by the Hyrule Royal Philharmonic. Link was majoring in music.

"Sorry, I forgot to mention that you get a cinnamon roll with your order. It's, uh, a special we're doing. For valued customers." Despite his nerves, Link made sure to put on a sunny smile. Even he thought that he had sounded pretty believable for a baldfaced lie.

Link was so screwed if he was allergic to cinnamon.

With his mouth slightly agape, Shad didn't know how to immediately respond. "Thank you. I-I appreciate the offer, but no one else appears to possess a cinnamon roll and there's no advertisement anywhere. There hasn't been a miscommunication, has there? I do not wish to cause you trouble."

Link wasn't expecting him to notice and call him out on his story. Not immediately. Link thought he would get back behind the counter before the unknown special dawned on the fellow. Link scrambled to come up with a reason, because the truth of "I think you're cute and I wanted an excuse to talk to you again" wasn't going to cut it. No customer ever wanted to be hit on by the barista.

"It's because…you're our one thousandth customer!" Link hoped the higher pitch in his voice came across as celebratory rather than panicked. _Goddesses, he was never gonna believe that._ Abort messages rang through his head. "Congratulations! Please enjoy." Link set the plate on the table and got the hell out of there.

As soon as he was behind the counter again, Link made a beeline for the back. Standing by the equipment racks, Link covered his burning face with his hands. That sucked. He sucked. The only part he had gotten right was buying the cinnamon roll. He never had a plan after that. _He __should have had a plan__!_

The kitchen door swayed back and forth behind him. Ilia asked one of the bakers to watch the front for a bit.

"That was who the roll was for?" Ilia said. "Link, I would've helped you if you had asked."

Why had he said something so stupid? Why hadn't he waited? Ilia would have helped him come up with a lot better story than a stupid special. "I'm not going back out until he's gone. You can run the front." What were the chances he was crushing on another straight dude anyway? Given his track record, probably pretty damn high.

"It'll be okay. You were only a little bit of a trainwreck."

Link glared. "That's not funny."

Ilia laid her hands on shoulders. "Take a few breaths. Come on. In. Out," she said. Link was stubborn, but eventually he mirrored her deep breaths. "The Moon's not crashing down on you. You could've had a better plan, but that's what happened. Now you deal. He's probably confused, but he's got a free cinnamon roll. You work in food. Free food smooths things over."

Link didn't have the best social skills. But he was hot, and as luck had it, the guys he had been interested in in the past had never wanted him to do much talking in the motel room or from their backseat. Link wasn't shy, but for one big obvious reason, he had to be guarded around most people. The only way he'd be his easy-going self was if he and Shad were able to establish two decades worth of friendship in what...fifteen, twenty minutes (or how ever long the fellow planned to study).

"I'd guess that you broke even," Ilia said, rubbing his arms up and down to help him calm down. "That means you still got a chance, but you're not gonna get it hiding in the back. You wanna ask him out? Get back on the horse."

Ilia was right. If he stayed in the kitchen, his chance would be gone. Then he would have to deal with himself regretting his decision and cowardice for weeks, and Link could not put up with beating himself up over the what-if for that long. Already, he felt a pang in his chest accusing him of being a moron for wasting his time in here instead being out there where Shad was. He thanked her for talking some sense into him.

"No problem," she said, giving his arms a final pat of encouragement. "Come on, we gotta go save Ravio from human interaction."

-o-

Link was going to wait awhile, maybe ten minutes or so, and then go back to Shad's table and ask him how everything was and figure out some way to make conversation, but then he and Ilia got a little rush of customers and Link couldn't get away. By the time he was able to sneak away, Shad was already at the counter once more.

"The cinnamon roll was absolutely delightful, old boy," Shad said, quite chipper. Did he somehow get more attractive since the last time they had spoken? No, well, maybe, but Shad certainly was in a happier mood. "They're made in house every day, aren't they?"

"Yea," Link replied. He had no idea why Shad had called him 'old boy' or what it meant. It could be an insult for all Link knew, but Shad's accent even made insults sound pleasant and refined. "Glad you liked it."

"I've heard quite a bit of good about this place through the grapevine, but today was the first time I have ever stopped inside. Might I say that the rumors do not give the place proper justice." Shad slipped a yellow rupee into the tip jar at the register. It was more than enough to pay for the cinnamon roll.

Link's eyes widened. He wasn't used to anyone tipping more than a couple green rupees or occasionally a blue one. "T-Thank you."

"It was well deserved," Shad said. "I'll certainly be a frequent patron from now on." Shad winked at Link.

Link's memory went a little fuzzy after that. All the things he had thought about saying, all the conversation starters he and Ilia had come up with, Link bringing up the music Shad had been listening to, well, his mind had decided to chuck all that last minute in favor of staring at Shad as if it was the last time he'd ever see the attractive academic (and as far as he knew, it was the last time). Link grinned and waved goodbye as Shad left—Goddesses, he hoped he hadn't looked like a complete moon-eyed goof. Even if he was a moon-eyed goof.

Ilia had been watching. She was staring at him with her lips tightly pursed.

"What?" Link said, a touch embarrassed.

"You're such an idiot," she said, shaking her head, and continued on with wiping down the front counter.

"What did I do?"

"It's what you didn't do," she said, slapping his arm with her rag. "How could you have let him slip away without asking him out? Come on, he checks all your boxes."

Link rolled his eyes. "I don't have a type."

"You have a type," Ilia insisted. "Male. Tall. Bookish. _Puppy-dog eyes_."

Link looked away and scowled. Sometimes he hated how well she knew him.

"You like them a little uptight to keep you in line and organized but flexible enough to entertain your wild whims. The problem is getting one of them to look up from their big books long enough to look at you."

Ilia was right about him having a type, but she was wrong about his problem. Link liked his partner to be more grounded than he was, and they tended to be driven academically while he focused almost solely on his music. Link knew that he was never going to be the one with the stable finances in his relationship. Part of the problem was that he was always looking for his opposite to balance out what he lacked. Link wasn't sure if attracted opposites didn't actually work out in the end or if he just had shit luck with finding actual good guys.

The other part of the problem was that he always wound up with sweet-talkers and jerks in sheep's clothing. Link could get the bookworms to put their books down and look at him just fine. Too bad that his body was the only part of him that they were ever seriously interested in looking at.

"It's been forever since I've seen you excited about someone. Why not ask him out?" Ilia asked.

"What if he's straight?" Link said.

Ilia tossed him a flat stare that read _"You know he ain't, so why you trying to make excuses?"_

Shad was cute. He seemed like a nice guy. He and Link both liked the classic songs of the Hero. Link was interested in him. He was possibly interested in Link. Why not? Even if nothing went anywhere between them beyond his usual hookup, Link could try to have a little fun. If he went in not expecting anything more, then he couldn't get hurt again when nothing more eventually didn't happen.

"Hey, what does patron mean?" Link asked, getting back to work by restocking the artificial sweetener packets at each table.

"It means he's gonna come around a lot, so ask him out already," Ilia said.

Link laughed. "Okay, I get it. I will."

-o-

Link wished Monday afternoons were busier just so Ilia wouldn't have the time to discuss his personal life with their friends.

"Link's been crushing on a guy that has a crush on him, and these two goofs can't seem to figure out how to ask the other out," Ilia chatted with Ashei, leaning against the front counter, during an afternoon lull.

Of course, he knew what she was doing. She was just trying to prod him into asking Shad out before he had time to convince himself not to do it at all. Link's dating history was complicated, to put it kindly. Every time he had tried to get serious with a guy, they left him or Link had to break it off because they only wanted to string him along. For the last four months, Link had decided it was best if he just didn't go out for a while.

He did want to go out with Shad though. He was the first guy he had felt strongly attracted to in a long while.

"I'm just waiting for the right time." Nearly a week had passed.

"Any time is right. He shows up practically every day. He orders tea so you know he's not addicted to coffee. Sugar, maybe." Ilia turned to Ashei and explained, "Link buys him sweets every time."

Ashei cracked a small smirk. "Unless he just digs free food. And honestly I can't blame him there. I'd string you along for a free pastry every day, yeah?"

Ashei had meant her words as a dark joke, but that wasn't to say that Link had considered the possibility. After the first time had gone okay, Link had kept buying him a pastry, or a cookie, or a slice of cake to go with his choice of tea that day since he didn't know any other way to show that he liked him. Around the third time, Link had stopped trying to come up with a decent excuse and simply set the plate down next to Shad's tea. Shad didn't press him on the reason either, though he did blush a bit and smiled.

When they weren't busy, Link sat across from Shad and they talked. Shad always insisted that they share the dessert. Link wanted to ask him out every time, but he had always cucco-ed out. He was so wary of getting into another relationship with another guy who was lukewarm for him at best or didn't have the same relationship goals in mind. One-nighters and casual hookups were fun for a time, but Link wanted to date.

"You should've seen him yesterday when I had to tell him it was your day off," Ilia said, leaning toward Link until their shoulders touched. "Those puppy-dog eyes got so sad. He was so disappointed." She made an exaggerated pouty frown. Link nudged her away.

"Has he mentioned a significant other?" Ashei asked.

Link shook his head no.

"Does he have a ring?"

That was another no.

"Why not ask him, yeah?"

"I just don't want this to go bad," Link said.

"So you don't want it to go anywhere?" Ilia said. "That's why you're hesitating so much."

It wasn't nice to hear, but Ilia wasn't wrong. Things could not end between them if they never began. Shad was a pleasant change from what he was used to. Actually getting to talk to one another without a single mention of sex. Polite compliments. Moments holding each other's gaze before realizing what was happening and shyly looking away. Ilia's teasing aside, it touched Link to hear that Shad had been sad that they couldn't see each other yesterday—the last guy he was with never wanted to spend any time with him unless it was to have sex, claiming to be bogged down with work when it was all lies.

"Hey, if you really think you aren't ready yet, don't," Ilia said. Link guessed he had spaced out for a sec and looked pensive.

"I want to," Link said. "I just don't know how."

Ilia snapped her fingers. "The brownie sundae. You can write on the plate in chocolate."

It wasn't a bad idea—he didn't have to worry about getting tongue tied or choking and he did write in chocolate very nicely—but Link wasn't completely sold on the idea. "That's kinda cheesy."

"It goes along with your theme," Ilia said, and Link snorted in disbelief. He had no idea what she meant by his 'theme'. "Ask him yourself then. But he's not leaving today without you asking him out."

"If he's not interested, he'll either say nothing or turn you down. Any way it goes, you'll know how he feels, yeah?"

That was true, and it would be better to ask him now while their friendship was still budding rather than muddle matters later on. At least then Link wouldn't get caught up in pursuing a relationship that was never going to be.

Link saw Shad outside the storefront window and hushed the girls. Shad came in. Ilia and Link smiled and Link greeted him, hoping that there was no way he could tell they had been talking about him moments ago. Ilia headed to the kitchen. Ashei scrolled on her phone. Link was on register.

Damn he looked good. Every step Shad made toward him made Link's heart beat a little faster. Shad was wearing a brown suede jacket over a dark blue shirt with a white bowtie, dark blue jeans, and leather boots. He had seen him look like a professor. He had seen him in a Castletown hoodie. But this was smart casual. A date outfit. Link was ready to hang up his apron, punch out, and go wherever this college cutie had in mind. Ilia wouldn't fault him. He'd gladly be in her debt.

"Could you help us with something? We're trying a new item and we'd like to get some feedback on it," Link said after ringing up his order.

"I wouldn't mind at all," Shad said.

Link was on his way into the kitchen to quietly request a sundae be made when Ilia opened the door and murmured in his ear that the sundae was ready and that all he had to do was write his message.

"You're a saint," he said softly, slipping past her, as she minded the register.

Ilia really did have everything put together and waiting for him. And then he saw that she didn't make the usual sundae but instead made their end-of-shift version with all the extra everything and then some included. Link wasn't sure if he wanted to hug her right now or ask her what the hell was she thinking… Yea, the sundae was better with all the extras, but this was a two person dessert now, and Link was not about to sit across from Shad with "Will you go out with me?" scrawled across his plate and add pressure to an already awkward moment.

"I didn't expect something so elaborate, old boy," Shad said, as Link reached his table with his completed drink order and the double dessert Ilia had concocted in his stead. "You shouldn't have gone to the trouble for me."

"It's no trouble at all," he said. Link hoped Shad didn't ask him to sit down and share it with him. He couldn't. Not this time. "Let me know what you think."

Link set the plate down and rushed back behind the counter. He couldn't bring himself to watch the scene unfold, especially if it was about to sour.

Well, he did it. No taking it back now. Now what? Link couldn't look. He didn't want to look. His heart was beating. He turned his back toward the counter. He ordered Ilia and Ashei under his breath to not say a word to him. The girls simply grinned at him and went back to chatting.

Five, ten minutes passed at an agonizingly slow pace. Someone could tell him that all the Light in the world was gone and that he had become a spirit trapped in this foreboding uncertainty and he would believe it. He felt like it. Surely, his chocolate writing was legible and Shad had read it by now. Why hadn't he said anything yet? It was a yes or no question. Either he was interested in him or he—

He wasn't. And he was trying to figure out a way to gently turn him down. That was the truth then, wasn't it? That was why so much time had passed without an answer. But this didn't need to be a drawn-out dilemma. If he didn't feel the same way, then he didn't feel the same way. They could still be friends.

Link turned the corner of the dividing wall and almost barreled into Shad.

"I'm sorry—" a startled Link said. He hadn't expected to be in front of Shad so soon. And by Shad's gasp, neither was he.

Shad smiled bashfully, pink rising onto his cheeks. It reminded Link of the first time he had waited on him. "It's quite all r-right," he said. "Do me a favor and see to it that this finds its way to the proper hands, will you, old boy?" Shad handed him one of their comment cards and headed back to his table. At a glance, the card looked completely filled out. Not a tiny gap existed in the margins.

Link had asked for feedback, but he hadn't expected Shad to actually fill out a comment card. The dessert story was a lie and Shad had to have figured that out. It wasn't the dessert then. He had a complaint. In Link's experience, very few people ever filled out a comment card to say nice things about their service. Not only was Shad not interested in him, what he had done was inappropriate and Link had offended hm.

Goddesses, he was going get a talking to from Bo. He might even get a write-up.

"What's it say?" Ilia asked. She was both curious to know what the card said and concerned by Link's troubled gaze.

"I don't know."

"Read it then, yeah?" Ashei said.

Though he was apprehensive about discovering what it said and all the ways he had screwed up, Link started reading the comment card. Immediately, he found a love letter to his positive attributes. Shad wrote that he had been first taken aback by his lovely smile and further drawn in by his charm and wit as they talked together. He wrote that he was a delight to be around and that he wanted to get to know him better. He asked if they could hold hands the next time they sat across from each other.

Midway through the card, Link started to get misty-eyed. Link wasn't used to this. These were the nicest things any guy had said genuinely to him and not as a means to get into his pants. Not once did Shad write that Link was hot, but his letter made Link feel attractive. The person Shad described sounded amazing, like the kind of guy you'd hope to find and daydream about when you were still young and naive about love and dating and the wool had not been pulled over your eyes. Link didn't know if he was this person, but he wanted to be.

Toward the end of the card, Shad mentioned that he had wanted to ask Link out sooner, but he wasn't positive at first if Link's friendliness was simply a part of his job or indicative of more, so he had waited until he was certain which. And then, he left his phone number. (And a postscript that Link could have simply asked him for his number at anytime and he would have happily provided it to him.)

Link read the ending twice before it finally sunk into his head that he had Shad's number. Link shouted loudly and bounced in joy.

And then he realized that Shad was still there, standing in front of him by the register, in fact. Link's face flushed bright red.

"Reminds me of the day we met," Shad said, with a grin. "It's a good color on you, old boy."

Link rubbed the back of his head and chuckled softly to himself in embarrassment. "Goddesses, you put me through hell waiting up here. Then you gut-punched me with a comment card. I thought I was in trouble."

"My apologies, old boy. I fretted over my wording far too much," Shad said. "You put so much care and thought in asking me out, I figured that I should return the effort."

Off to the side, Link felt Ilia and Ashei smiling tight-lipped in an effort to keep from laughing or blurting out the truth—that Ilia had come up with it minutes before Shad had arrived and Link had kinda just gone with the idea without any confidence that it would work.

"A yes or no would've sufficed," Link said. "And been a lot gentler on me."

"Duly noted," Shad said. "Now I better not tarry here for too much longer if you're to keep from getting in trouble. Do text me later whenever you have the extra time. See you soon, old boy." He raised a hand in farewell to Link and gave a polite nod goodbye to the girls.

Much as he didn't want Shad to excuse himself so soon either, he did have a point and Link did agree that he should probably get back to work. Really, it was remarkable that Bo hadn't said anything to him yet, though he probably had Ilia to thank for that. He was looking forward to texting him on his break. Maybe they could pick a day for a date. He hoped he was free tomorrow afternoon.

With a dreamy look on his face, Link leaned onto the counter and watched as the cafe door came to a close behind Shad.

Shad with the cute smile and a heart as sweet as a cinnamon roll. Shad with the bowties and the smart clothes that looked nice from the front and the back. Shad, the cute redhead who made him feel special and wanted in ways no other guy had made him feel.

Shad, his first serious chance at love.

Ilia nudged him in the side, breaking him from his thoughts. "You're gonna be useless for the rest of the day, aren't you?" she teased. She was smiling. She was happy to see him happy in so very long.


	2. Part Two: Milk With Tea

Story Title: Milk With Tea

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight Princess.

Author's Notes: This started as an extended bonus scene from the first part that turned into a full sequel after a rewrite. This part is also why this series has the "fluff with a bit of angst" tag (on AO3). Originally, this was going to be a T rating, but it got pushed up to an M rating as a precaution. It probably doesn't warrant it but just in case, y'know.

-o-

Story Title: Milk With Tea

-o-

Feeling butterflies from his stomach all the way up to his head, Link couldn't recall the last time he felt like this going out. It was different from his usual first date feelings. He was nervous with excitement and happy to the point of being giddy-headed, and for once, Link had no idea from the start if the evening was going to end with them having sex. He actually preferred that they didn't. Link really wanted to find love with Shad, so if that meant doing everything differently from his previous relationships so be it.

Still it had been so long since Link had gone out on a chaste date that he wasn't sure how to conduct himself. He was used to guys that didn't care what he said or thought as long as he looked pretty, obeyed orders, and left in the morning. Shad actually wanted to get to know him, which threw him for a bit of a loop. As far as Link knew, dinner conversation was just something to speed the night along before he and the other guy checked into a motel. Going out on a short date was more of a matter of politeness, a social courtesy. Link hadn't had to try hard to charm a guy on a date in forever.

Link was relieved when Shad took him to a restaurant that he had never been to before—the less Link was reminded of the past, the better. There were plenty of regular tables, but along the walls, there were booths, each surrounded by a dark honey-colored frame. At first, Link thought it was weird and unnecessary, but he immediately understood why these tables were built this way once he slipped inside one and sat down.

Because unless they peeked out the latticework or the open doorway, they couldn't see the rest of the restaurant or any other people. No people staring. No loud conversations. Just the two of them. Talking. About family. About favorite movies, books, and especially music. About what their favorite things to do on a lazy day were. About anything and everything. Soft lighting cast a warm amber glow. There was a single green carnation in a small vase on the table close to the wall. Link wished every place surrounded him in a cozy, private box like this.

Link liked summertime for the heat, longer days, and taking off on vacations. Shad favored autumn for the cooler temperatures, longer nights, and walking among the autumn leaves. They both liked rainy days. Link told him about his music projects and about how he wanted to retell each Heroes' journey through their music.

Link hoped that he wasn't boring Shad. He felt like he had so much less going on than him. Shad was going for a double major in History and Linguistics with a minor in Literature with the intention of becoming a museum archivist and a document translator specializing in ancient languages. Shad had a vision of how he was going to achieve his career. Shad had a plan. Link wanted to make music. He was good at making music. He had no clue how to go about making it in the music industry.

That was part of Link's problem, wasn't it? Not a lot of guys wanted to fit the bill for a musician with no direction working a min wage job, even if he was hot. Better to promise him a real relationship and string him along for as many fucks as they could get out of him before he realized that he was never going to get an "I love you".

Damn it, he was doing it again. There was no reason for him to start expecting the worst. The date was going well. They were just talking and making each other laugh, like they always did at the coffee shop. Shad had given him no reason to doubt him, and yet there was this little cynical voice in the back of Link's mind mumbling that it'll all turn out to be lies and that he was just wasting his time. Link couldn't go through the hurt of thinking he had found a boyfriend when he was nothing more than the guy's "stress reliever" again. Calling him that made it sound like you could buy him in a store. Get him half off with a coupon.

Link jumped in his seat as he felt Shad take his hand.

"Did I startle you, old boy?" Shad said, with a tiny laugh. "Pardon me. You did appear to be rather lost in thought."

Link shook his head no. "It wasn't anything important," he lied. If his face had said otherwise, Shad didn't press the matter.

"So how many instruments do you play?" Shad asked.

"I stopped counting after ten," Link said, watching as the pad of Shad's thumb brushed across his knuckles over and over. "Most of them I just know the basics. Y'know, enough know-how to tinker around with the sound."

Link opened up his hand. He uttered a pleased sigh as Shad's fingertips traced his palm lines. Link hadn't been with any guy in four months. It was even longer since the last time a guy had touched him softly. A wave of chills sluiced down his back. It felt so good. It would feel even better sliding on down his spine or across his hipbone.

"Do you play anything?" Link asked, hoping that chatting about music would distract him from other thoughts, namely on how badly he wanted Shad's hands all over his body and how it was a shame that there was a table between them.

"I'm afraid I'm not gifted musically as you are," Shad replied. "I've always been more of an admirer of musicians than someone who aspired to be one."

_ You're __hitting a lot of right notes __with__ me,_ Link thought, flicking his tongue over his lips. "I could teach you."

Oh Hylia, now was not the time to get turned on. But he missed the touch of a partner, getting into rhythm, holding onto one another dearly, those few moments resting pressed against each other's hot, sticky flesh. Sex was the only way Link was able to have his needs met and he was feeling every missed second.

"Now, now, old boy, no need to frustrate yourself. Your time is better utilized composing music others would delight to hear, not showing me the same basic chords a thousand times over."

Deep down, Link had a bit of a selfish streak. That's what he called it. His past partners said he was needy. (Then again half of those guys didn't have the common decency to reciprocate for him, so no wonder.) Link liked to be held, to be kissed, to be touched. None of those things had to be sexual in nature necessarily, but they often were because his past partners didn't see the point of non-sexual touch.

"I wouldn't mind at all. We all start at the beginning," Link said. "I'm always wondering how things sound. I'd like to hear what music you'd make."

Shad made an incredulous snort. "Dissonance and cacophony," he said.

"A voice like yours, I hardly believe that," Link said, with a grin. "I like the timbre of your voice. It's silky and reassuring. It's one of the things that attracted me to you. That and everything else."

The last four months hadn't been easy for Link. He couldn't say how many nights he had laid in bed, unable to sleep, wishing there was someone next to him, even if that person didn't care about him. He had almost gave in and texted one of his exes until he realized that he'd just get used again and his actual needs wouldn't be satisfied anyway. There was no point for him to feel lonely, touch-starved, _and_ disgusted with himself.

Clearly unused to compliments, Shad stammered out a thank you as blood rushed to his freckled cheeks. Link wanted to kiss his face and feel the heat. If he just made an exception for tonight…

No.

Link couldn't get ahead of himself. He couldn't trip into his old habit and fall in love before he knew how the guy really felt about him. Having sex on the first date wasn't the problem, but jumping into bed with guys who didn't want anything else with him was. If he was just sure of what Shad wanted between them, if Link could have faith that Shad was being honest with him…

It wasn't as if Link had any reason to doubt Shad, but he had no way of knowing if he was telling the truth. Feelings weren't easy to fact-check for lies. Even waiting a few weeks from now to be upfront and ask Shad what he wanted the two of them to be wasn't going to help him either. A liar was just going to tell him what he wanted to hear. They always did.

"I'm not positive that you'd really want to hear me sing after you do," Shad said. "However, I would be very happy if you were to play something for me sometime."

But when Link went to bed late with Shad signing off with a sweet good-night and woke up to a good morning well-wish from Shad in the days leading up to their first date, Link wanted to fall for him. It was nice to get to be how he used to be, back before his daily texts became one guy's "nuisance" and "proof that he had too much free time on his hands".

"Or perhaps allow me to hear a sample of the project you've been working on. Trust me. I'll be a much better audience than a student for you."

Link wanted to believe that Shad wanted more than just sex between them, but he had thought the same of so many other guys before him. And all those pretty, charming guys had spoon-fed him lies and memorized lines. Link was tired of it.

Shad's hand came to rest atop of Link's, his fingers clasping his. Those big blue eyes gazed at him with warmth and adoration. Shad smiled as he squeezed Link's hand. Link hoped he was thinking about what was going to make him happy and where they might be two, three months from now—Link wasn't hoping for anything crazy, just that they'd still be happily together.

More than anything else, Link wanted to believe that Shad was different.

-o-

Link and Shad were having a good time, and it wasn't just the pair of drinks in their bellies from dinner. To Link's surprise, Shad had remembered a chat they had at the cafe about Link longing to see the stars in the city and took him to see a show at the planetarium. Confusing it for a lecture at first, Link had been worried that he wasn't going to be able to follow the technical stuff for too long until the lights went off and the music came on.

The show was beautiful, and on top of that, they were lucky to come on a night that the planetarium had a real star fragment on display. Link wanting to see stars in the city was just a casual mention, a bit of nostalgia for the skies back home, but Shad had listened and wow, he had really ran with the idea. Link didn't know if it was the liquor talking or the orange and gold starlight, but there really was magic left in the world. He could feel it. He looked over to see if Shad felt it too.

And he was looking at him. And not in the way that all the other guys had ever looked at him. He seemed in awe of him. Breathless. Link captivated him more than the celestial space rock right in front of him.

Link didn't know what to say, partially because Shad was gorgeous, cast in the sunset glow of the star, reflected in his eyes. All he could think about was how he couldn't screw this up. Shad might be the one.

-o-

"The sky is remarkably clear tonight," Shad remarked, as they walked along the lit sidewalks on their way to the parking garage. "Look now, straight above the radio tower in the distance. You can see the tail end of the constellation Volvagia."

Link wished this night didn't have to end. He should have wished on the star fragment at the planetarium. That would've worked, right? This was a wonderful night. If it wasn't for the fact that Link was trying to break his old habits, he probably, definitely would have given Shad a very generous thank-you before the date was over. At least Link didn't have to worry about this being nothing more than a one-nighter.

"My flat isn't too far from here," Shad casually mentioned. "If you're not yet ready to call it a night, how about we make our way there? My balcony will permit us a better view of the night sky."

The pit of Link's stomach dropped right onto a knife. How many times had Link heard that before? _"Come back to my place. Let's have a drink._ ._..__How about a kiss?" _Link knew where this ended. Where it always ended. Link was so tired of playing the same song on repeat. Was he really only good for sex?

Of course, he could say no. The out was there, but why fight the inevitable? Why disappoint? Being nice and attentive, getting him all hot in the restaurant, literally showing him the stars, and having an amazing first date, it was all according to plan. What was next on the docket? A little more playing pretend, drunk sex, waking up the next morning with the unspoken orders that he should hurry on out, and get told that he'd text him the next time he wanted to meet up. Why say no to that? It was going to happen. It always did. Nothing was ever different.

"Sure," Link said, putting on a smile and pretending that he was okay.

Shad really had him believing. Pretending to care about him, building him up to feel better about himself, all the while painting himself as an irresistibly likable guy… Even with all his past experiences in dealing with liars, Shad had still fooled him.

Link guessed he really shouldn't be all that surprised. He had been waiting for this moment. The jerks in sheep's clothing he had gone out with had often lied to him for months. A week was nothing. A week was just laying down the groundwork to sucker him in.

It always hurt to be lied to, but this time hurt so much more. Because Shad wasn't any different, and Link had hoped he was.

-o-

Shad lived off-campus in an apartment by himself. His apartment was not grand, by any means, but it had a lot more room than Link was used to. A couple could live here snugly through their college years, letting their love grow until their lives needed more space or their careers required a change of locale, not that Shad was ever going to ask him to move in with him. There wasn't even a certainty that he was ever going to be invited back to his place after tonight. Link had no idea why he was imagining the two of them living together. It was just to amuse himself, he guessed. A lie to help him put a smile on his face.

Shad had a nice view of the river and the skyline, but there weren't too many stars visible. No shock there. His place was impeccably tidy and smelled of vanilla. Outside leaning on the balcony railing, Link half-jokingly wondered whether or not he should go ahead and make his way to his bedroom.

"Something the matter, old boy? You were terribly quiet on the way here," Shad said, joining him outside.

"No. Nothing. It's fine," Link said in a tone of voice that said that nothing was fine. "No, really, I get it."

"I'm glad you do because I'm positively befuddled at the moment," Shad said. He laid a hand on Link's forearm, and Link quickly slid away from him. He didn't go very far but he moved far enough for Shad to get the message. "Please, tell me what is wrong."

Link wasn't sure which one of them he was more angry with—Shad or himself. It wasn't like Link hadn't spent half the night mentally making out with Shad. Hell, not even five seconds before Shad had asked him to come back to his place, Link was seriously reconsidering his new policy of getting to know a guy before he slept with them. Shad hadn't exactly lied to him yet. Nothing that he had caught him up in. As far as Link knew, Shad just wanted to have sex with him, but both of them wanting to have sex with each other wasn't the problem.

"I just wish you had been upfront with me," Link said, keeping his eyes out on the river and refusing to face Shad. "You didn't have to go to all that trouble tonight if all you wanted was sex. I get it. Happens all the time. I just thought—"

"N-Not at all!" Shad interrupted quickly, his voice momentarily higher-pitched. "One day, yes, most assuredly when the time is right, but certainly not right now this instant." He chuckled nervously. "...A bit hasty, don't you think?"

Link was thunderstruck. He looked at Shad. He was blushing. "...You didn't ask me to come back to your place to have sex?"

"No. Honestly, I'm curious as to how you arrived at that conclusion—" And then his eyes opened wider as the realization dawned on him. "This has happened before."

Too many times than Link could count was how many times this had happened before.

"My apologies, old boy. It was not my intention to stir up the past," Shad said. "We were getting on so well. I just wanted to spend some more time with you. It was selfish of me."

"No, no, I jumped to conclusions. I..." Their date had been going wonderfully, and Shad had harmlessly asked him to come over, not knowing he was opening a box of crazy. Link took a deep breath. "Let me level with you. I've been with a lot of guys. Mostly hookups. I know that if you ask around, they'll tell you I'm the campus bicycle. And I was. It's why I'm single. Everyone's had me so no one wants me."

Link smiled as if what he had just said was funny. Shad didn't find it humorous. Neither did Link.

"I've never really dated before," Link continued. "It was always about sex. Oh, guys promised me a relationship and then never made true on their word. I was always the friend with benefits. Or the side piece."

"You asked me to come back to your place and I just..." Link looked away. His words caught in his throat and went down roughly. "I thought you were like them. I thought nothing was different. I flashed forward a couple months to you telling me we weren't serious, and it was just sex, and nothing was true for you. I feel terrible that I doubted you, that I lumped you in with them, but the nicest guys were the most convincing liars."

He could feel his eyes begin to mist over, so Link spoke faster. "I like you and I want a relationship. I don't want a promise of one. No boyfriends in bed, just friends in public. I don't want to matter only when it's convenient." His chin quivered. "I'm not just the guy that's good for a good time. I can be a good boyfriend."

He was good for other things than sex. Or, well, that was what he wanted to say but couldn't make it in time.

Oh Goddesses, Link was so embarrassed. Unloading a plane's cargo deck amount of emotional baggage on a first date was never a good move. Link tried wiping his eyes clear with the palm of his hand and his nose on the back of his hand. He didn't even know when he had started crying.

Link gasped as Shad pulled him toward him into a hug. Returning the affection, Link buried his nose in between his pecs, with the center dip of his chest giving him just enough space to breathe.

The physical sensation of being held was what Link always wanted, what he craved. His face was too hot to enjoy his warmth, but he enjoyed Shad's closeness—his hands laying around his waist and on the small of his back, the rise and fall of his breaths—and oh Goddesses, his clothes smelled like the good summer meadow detergent Link liked but only got when it was on sale (so practically never) because it was a little above what he could spend. He knew it was a silly thing to focus on, but the nice scent calmed him down and made him smile just a little bit. He could settle in right here. It all felt so right.

Which was why Link had to step back, much as he didn't want to separate. Link knew how selfish he could be, how clingy he was. The last thing he wanted to do was annoy Shad with how affectionate he was, like he had done with all his past boyfriends. Shad caught him by the elbows as he stepped back. Link stopped. Shad didn't seem to want them to part either.

"I'm sorry my crazy is ruining our date," Link said. "I'll understand if you wanna rethink going out with me."

"Well, yes, I have been rethinking our next date," Shad said. Link wasn't surprised, but his heart felt sliced in two nonetheless. "Mostly I can't decide where I want to go with you next."

Link's mouth formed a tiny circle in stunned silence.

"I'm sorry, that was absolutely terrible of me," he said, with an apologetic smile, as he gently swept away a tear stuck on Link's cheek. "Honestly, I'm quite dumbfounded that any guy would treat you that way. Why wouldn't any guy want to be be with you? You're sweet and brilliant. And funny. And adventurous. It can't just be a matter of your previous partners."

"Apparently, I'm not the kind of guy you commit to."

"How so?"

Link shrugged his shoulders. "Guys who wanna run Fortune 500 companies don't settle down with a DJ. Or that's what I've been told."

Shad furrowed his brow in confusion. "But you aren't a DJ."

No, Link wasn't. And Shad didn't need to be explained the difference. A soft smile stretched across his face. "You have no idea how glad I am that you understand that."

There were so many ways Link's confession could have ended any chance he had with Shad. He could have been turned away by Link opening up too much too soon, or taken issue with how many guys Link had been with, or just didn't want to rush into a relationship with him after only one date. Instead, Shad was grateful that he had told him. And he wasn't leaving him.

Upon a second look, Link noticed that they were able to see quite a few stars from Shad's balcony.

If only Shad had a dog, then he would be perfect, Link joked to himself. Half-joked, really. He was sure that one day they were going to get a dog. Maybe one of those Snowpeak shepherd-wolf mixes.

Of course, Link had liked all of the guys he had dated (at first), but this was the first time he had felt like this—all bright and bubbly and hopeful, his heart feeling alight and yet swaddled in silk. He was willing to trust that Shad was telling him the truth.

But the not-so-cynical voice was still pestering Link with a question. "Why did you want me to come back to your place then?"

"You might find this silly, but..." Shad bashfully looked down and then back up at Link. "Tonight is the Parade of Heroes, the largest summer meteor shower visible in our hemisphere. People used to believe that each shooting star was the soul of a previous Hero. Now all of that may be legends to us now, but the meteor shower is still quite the spectacle. ...I was hoping that you would like to stay over and watch it with me. If you want to. It does begin around 1am." Shad already knew that Link didn't have work tomorrow.

He was such a cute dork. And maybe Shad was also the right balance of different from Link and was just similar enough in the ways that mattered.

Those big, beautiful, hopeful blue eyes of Shad's were all on him. Link wanted to plant a kiss on his forehead just under his single curl. "Yeah, I'll stay."

Shad nodded as he smiled rather tight-lipped. He was no doubt trying to keep from looking like a moon-eyed goof. Link knew the feeling.

"We still have a couple hours before the meteor shower gets underway, I was thinking about deciding together on a movie and snuggling on the sofa," he suggested, motioning that they head inside.

Hearing Shad suggest that they hang out and cuddle was music to Link's ears.


	3. Part Three: Milk In Tea

Story Title: Milk In Tea (With a Spoonful of Honey)

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight Princess.

Author's Notes: This took far longer than I expected, in part because it went in no less than three directions before I reached the path that I had actually wanted from the start. And then, well...real life decided to kick me throughout the entirety of October and with me working in retail and the holidays coming up, the next 2-3 months aren't gonna be much better.

I thank everyone for reading this mini-series and again for leaving faves and comments.

-o-

Story Title: Milk With Tea

-o-

In the break room, Link sat with his feet up waiting for a reply text from Shad. His relationship with Shad was already his most stable and loving, but it was officially the longest relationship he had ever had. He felt like he was dating his best friend. But that was how things were supposed to be, wasn't it? His happiness wasn't supposed to decline into constant frustration and doubt. It wasn't normal to question his partner's honesty all the time. He never realized until Shad that he was able to feel better after being around his boyfriend.

They still hadn't said "I love you" yet, though the feeling had certainly been conveyed in other ways several times over. Still Link wanted Shad to say it first because, well, none of his past boyfriends had ever said "I love you" first. And Link couldn't bear the thought of saying it and Shad pause for too long or not reply at all. Link didn't want to say "I love you" and get back a stunned, noncommittal "Yea" in return or for the conversation to take such a hard, sudden turn onto an another subject that Link swore that he could hear the brakes squealing and the wheels kicking up dirt in the other guy's head. Things were getting on too well between him and Shad and Link didn't want to break the illusion.

"Okay, tack on a bunch of kissy faces and clock back in," Ilia said as she entered the break room and headed to her locker. Link's fifteen minutes were up and it was her turn.

"You think twelve is too many?" Link joked.

"Why so brief?" Ilia said with a smile.

Link asked Ilia if she wanted to run around with him on Saturday after their sunrise shift together, and Ilia said yes. Link was looking for stuff to make either Twilight-era Zora armor or a large prop, like a King of the Red Lions boat, for his next video. Technically, his Champion's Tunic wasn't done yet, but he was considering the future.

Honestly, he hadn't expected for his Hero cosplay videos and pics to take off as much as they had. People seemed to like seeing him wander the woods and the countryside in full Hero garb and hearing him play his ocarina. He also did silly stuff, like mow lawns in costume, and reenacted rumors and stories told about each Hero. Like when he was back in Ordon and the family ranch was doing a controlled fire, Link stripped down to his boxers and ran around like a madman in celebration because the Hero of the Wild was rumored to have done the same.

The hero cosplay had been Shad's idea. He thought it would garner Link attention so he could build himself a fanbase that in turn would look at his original music, which was already strongly influenced by the tales of the Legendary Heroes. So far, Shad was right. People were digging it. Being a hot guy in a Hero's outfit didn't hurt either.

Link wished that Ilia had left him something to do while she was on break. He went around wiping down empty tables and asked their handful of customers if they needed anything but everyone just wanted not to be bothered by a bored barista.

Today had been a rough day. A rough, boring day. But this evening was going to be infinitely better. He just had an hour and a half and then things were going to start moving in a positive direction. It wasn't that long.

Back behind the counter, Link felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. It was Shad responding to his text. The bell above the door chimed while he was in the middle of typing. Link quickly slipped his phone into his apron pocket and looked up, ready to follow his script, until he saw the fellow approaching the counter. He was one of his exes, though Purlo had always claimed that they had never dated and had been just "conveniently sleeping with each other". That had been one reason out of many of why they had broken up.

"Well, lookie here, it's Country Bumpkin!" Purlo said loudly, drawing a lot of attention in the quiet, relaxed cafe. "How you been?"

Link gave a cringing smile as Purlo swaggered up to the register. He supposed it was mathematically possible for the two of them to cross paths again. He wished that they hadn't. Link was quite all right with Purlo being in his past and not presently in front of him.

Link put on his customer voice, "I'm all right. What can I get for you today?" Hopefully, Purlo was just going to get a coffee and leave. The Gods were not going to be kind to Link, however.

"Slow your pumpkin roll, Bumpkin," Purlo said, with a smug grin. "You don't have a line. Let's chat." He put a hand on the countertop and leaned forward and over the counter. Nothing set off warning alarms in Link's head like customers leaning over the counter—either they were after him or the register and Link wanted customers nowhere near both. Most of the time, people just wanted to see if he put their order in right, which was equally insulting on multiple fronts.

As per his job requirement, Link kept on smiling as he groaned a drawn-out swear in his head. Link wasn't good at chatting with customers to begin with. He was absolutely terrible at chatting with people he already had a bad history with and that he wished would go away like a bad stink.

"You still trying to be a DJ?" Purlo asked.

"No." Because he never was one.

"Smart," Purlo said. "You know where your money is."

Having no idea what he was referring to, Link furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Oh come on, don't give me that stupid look. You ain't telling me that this..." Purlo waved a finger around in a wide circle to indicate the cafe. "...Keeps you afloat. You'd have to be here twenty-four seven and your annual would still be shit."

Link wanted to ask what was it to him what his job was or how much he made but he didn't. Purlo was friendly now but he was petty and vindictive. He would turn on him immediately if it served him better. Purlo's fair good looks and fake charm hid his rotten inner self. Link just wished he had seen that side of him sooner. It was better for Link if he played nice and let Purlo ramble on.

"I get it. You're at the day job and you don't discuss your other work."

Link still had no idea what in Hylia's name he was talking about. Purlo was even weirder than he remembered.

Eventually, Purlo ordered a large iced coffee with extra ice and asked it to be made the way he liked it while going on about all his successes after he had left Hyrule altogether. Mostly he had been an emcee, announcing live shows in bars and local wresting rings, but he had been the lead in a handful of obscure foreign films during his travels. (If any of it was true, good for him, but having seen Purlo's acting chops, Link doubted his acting roles were anything more than bit parts.)

Going about completing his simple order, Link was glad to finally have an excuse to walk away from Purlo, even for just a little while. Keeping up his obligatory smile, Link quickly checked the clock to see how much time was left before Ilia was back and he could leave the front to her. He killed a groan in his throat as he saw that she still had six minutes left. Hopefully, Purlo nearly had his fill of bragging about how much better his life was now compared to Link's. He was bragging as if Link had been the one that had made his life miserable during their short relationship that didn't happen.

Five minutes with Purlo had passed and Link was already tired of his nonsense.

"Hey, I'm in town for a bit, so how about you and I hang out? Tonight. It'll be like old times," Purlo said and then muttered not enough under his breath, "...Not like you have anything better to do."

Link could have sworn that Purlo had been charming and charismatic back when they had first met. If he hadn't been, then Link had no idea why he had put up with Purlo for two weeks. It hadn't been the sex. No, it definitely hadn't been the sex.

"I can't. Sorry. Between work and school, I really don't get a lot of free time," Link said, as he poured coffee into a half-full cup of ice water. Purlo liked his coffee cold and watered down. Basically he liked ice water with a hint of coffee. It was absolutely disgusting.

"Really, you're that popular?" Purlo said, as he scrunched his mouth as if he tasted something unpleasant. Rejection surely wasn't a sweet taste."Can't even spare thirty minutes for your old pal... Are you that booked up that you can't squeeze me in?"

"It was nice to see you again," Link lied to be polite. He hoped that with his use of past tense that Purlo was going to get the hint and wrap things up.

Purlo stared back at Link and ran his tongue behind one of his canines as he thought. Purlo had been so sure that being with him tonight was going to be the highlight of Link's pitiful, penniless life that he had never considered that he might decline his offer or that he might not have any desire to relive their "old times", which Link was positive was just a discreet way of asking him to have sex with him again. If not, then Purlo remembered their old times a lot differently than Link did.

Getting the hint that his plans were foiled, Purlo chuckled humorlessly. His smile was unkind. "Well, not everyone is cut out to be a star, Bumpkin," he said, bitterness sliding into his voice. "You couldn't make it in the music industry so you fell back on the one thing you're actually good at. There's no shame in that."

Link had no idea what he was going on about and he wasn't sure that he wanted to. He shook his head no. "I don't think we're talking about the same thing."

"We are, though," Purlo insisted, finding Link's confusion wickedly amusing. "You're actually charging guys now, right? Or is your ass still a non-profit charity?"

Not knowing how to respond to that, Link stood with his eyes wide and his mouth agape. Shameful heat rose to his face. A few overhearing customers peered up from their distractions and watched the drama unfold. "That's not me anymore," he finally said, his voice lowered. "I have a boyfriend."

Purlo snorted derisively. "Does he know? I mean, _really_ know? Who you've done. What you've done. Again, for free." He shook his head and sighed as if he found himself clever and funny. "Oh Hylia… A dumb country bumpkin twink came to the city and didn't even know to charge his tricks. I bet you make a killing now though. You do have the skills to pay the bills."

Link was still holding Purlo's drink. He had squeezed the cup so tightly that the plastic lid had popped off and the icy liquid inside floated tenuously atop the rim. He wanted to say something, anything, everything. But he couldn't. One thing about being behind the register was that Link had to take shit with a smile—something that Purlo knew he had to do. But oh, he was mad. Barista jobs were a dime a dozen to come by, weren't they? He was going to miss working with Ilia and her family, though. They were his family too.

"Then again, you were smart enough to find one rich idiot to take care of you, so maybe—" Purlo suddenly shut up as Link pushed a blue rupee he had fished out of his pocket toward him.

"Here, your refund," Link growled. He wasn't able to open his register without Ilia's override, but he was fine with paying Purlo out of his pocket. "Now, please leave."

Link wanted to toss Purlo's drink right back into his smug face, but he didn't—he poured it into the dirty mop water instead. Even with cold coffee, throwing his drink at him was still an assault, and Purlo wasn't worth losing his job or damaging the coffee shop's reputation over. Even if it would feel so amazing. But this was within his power. This he was able to do with less repercussion.

Purlo didn't know what to think. He managed to sputter out, "...My coffee!"

"I've given you a refund." Actually, Purlo had received more than a refund, but Link didn't care enough to make exact change. Purlo could have the extra rupees. "But I refuse to serve you."

Purlo dropped all pretense of being nice and friendly as he got in Link's face and said in an acidic voice, "I want a coffee. You have to take my order. It's your _fucking_ job."

"Then I suggest Rupour's on Second," Link calmly replied.

"Get me my coffee, you—"

"We'd be happy to make you one. For free," Ilia said, returning from her break. Link figured that she was just trying to defuse the situation, which was why he kept his mouth shut and didn't explain what had happened—what mattered to her was making the customer happy and getting him on his way. And then Link noticed the tension in her smile. "Then you're leaving and you're banned from returning."

Purlo sneered in disbelief. "You don't have the authority to do that."

"Yea, I do." And Ilia did. "You're not getting away with talking to our employees like that."

Purlo tried to play the victim by claiming that Link had stolen his money and tossed out his drink for no reason, but Ilia shot that gambit down real quick by reminding Purlo that he had already been refunded and Link's actions were in response to his vulgar comments and harassment. She also revealed that she had recorded the whole exchange from the hall.

"Either my father or the police will remove you. Whether you leave with dignity is up to you." There was a sternness in her chipper tone that assured that she would be more than happy to see to it that he left their coffee shop and the shopping plaza a noted public disgrace.

Purlo was a jerk, but he was also a coward. In the face of facing consequences and actual authority, Purlo always chose to duck and run.

"I don't want either of you serving me your terrible coffee," Purlo said, grimacing. Link was pretty sure that Purlo didn't know what good coffee tasted like. "Hope this place folds up," he muttered on his way out.

Ilia told Link to take five minutes to cool his head, but Link said he was fine. He did agree to dump the dirty mop water out. It had needed to be changed anyway.

"Just one thing," Ilia said, as normalcy steadily returned to the coffee house. It was going to be time for the next afternoon rush soon. "Why him? What about him made you think he was worthy of your time?"

"I was going through some things..." Link said and left it at that.

"Clearly," Ilia teased and Link, a little taken aback by her playful dig, looked over at her, and saw her tiny, growing smile. He couldn't help but smile back and shake his head.

-o-

Fresh from the shower, Link had hoped that the hot water would clean all of his work day off of him, but only his body felt refreshed. His mind kept thinking about all the things Purlo had said. About how he used to "give it all away for free" and all his insinuations that he was a gay prostitute. Because, putting aside the obvious intended hurt, Purlo wasn't completely wrong. There was a tiny grain of truth. Sex and his good looks had always been his immediate foundation for all his previous relationships. Before he had met Shad, those had been the only things Link had thought he had to work with, because those had been the only things the guys he had met had been interested in.

Link was not about to deny that he had been young and dumb. (He was still a bit of both.) He was from a small town in Ordona Province, the kind of place where the only Johns that came out of closets were long-johns. Link hardly dated in high school because it was safer not to tread that minefield. Thank the Goddesses that Ilia hadn't minded to pretend to be his girlfriend whenever he had needed her. He had messed around with one of the other young farmhands, but they had not been interested in the other romantically—they were just each other's only option to explore their feelings while being confident that they weren't going to out the other under pressure.

However, once Link had left home for college and found himself free and surrounded by an actual gay community, Link found himself inundated with attention and completely unprepared to navigate the social waters. Link's social skills were never the greatest to begin with, and he was absolutely terrible at flirting. So at first he had followed the other guy's lead and went with whatever they had wanted or suggested, being too naive to know that not all guys were looking for love when they approached a nineteen-year-old Ordonian boy with a body built like a plow-horse and a smile as innocent as a puppy's, but Link hadn't known any better. He was just a country bumpkin, after all.

Boxers on, Link sat on the side of his bed and looked around at the energy drink stack on the nightstand, the computer parts left out in his workspace, and the clothes and unmatched socks strung about his floor. His apartment wasn't dirty, but it definitely needed a quick pickup before Shad arrived. After he checked the time Shad had said he should be there by, Link laid his phone on his bed. His eyes lingered heavily on the cluster of dating and hookup apps he had used to frequent. He wondered why there were all still there, why he hadn't deleted them off his phone after all these months with Shad. All of his accounts were still active. Single male seeking any single male to make him feel loved and wanted if even for a few fleeting moments. Just a warm, masculine body next to his.

In retrospect, Link guessed that all of his post-breakup binges were some misguided revenge against an ex that didn't care about him in the first place. It never mattered to any of them if Link was already sleeping with another guy not twenty-four hours after their breakup. That another guy just became another guy an hour later and then yet another guy another hour after that, the binge continuing until Link didn't have anything left in him to arrange another hookup and he had to finally deal with being alone again.

He picked his phone back up and signed into one of the apps. He wasn't shocked to see that he had tons of messages and notifications. He started scrolling through each one and recognized profile pics and usernames of guys he had slept with one after another. They were all trying to charm their way into sleeping with him again. The new fellas weren't any different, each tossing out the same friendly greeting one-liner and then baiting him with compliments to see if he would bite their hook. On a site like this, guys were rarely looking for new friends—any sweetness a guy showed him had obvious intentions.

And then there were the vulgar messages, those being just as frequent, if not more so, as the friendly hellos. Link quickly scrolled past truncated preview blurbs of lengthy messages describing what they wanted to do to him and where. Some guys simply wanted more pics or videos with specific demands. Another group didn't even bother with typing words and just sent him a dick pic or a video of themselves jerking off.

Sadly, Link intimately knew that there was a time not long ago in between his attempts to have a serious relationship that his evenings would consist of him reading and answering messages, looking at pics, and watching their videos, and by the time he went to sleep, he would have anywhere between ten or twenty guys lined up for the week, with five more in reserve he could meet at a moment's notice.

Link's own pics didn't make him feel any better. They weren't lewd, just highly suggestive. They were nearly all thirst pics, so it was no wonder why his inbox was crammed with dirty messages. His album was a visual time-lapse chronicling his four-year descent into madness away from the naive country lad looking for love into the jaded fairy boy, posing only in booty shorts from a sexy Postman costume with his glossed lips puckered to his phone camera, trying desperately too hard to be appealing to someone, anyone, and everyone.

Looking at his past self at his lowest made Link very uncomfortable. But he pitied himself too. He wished that he was able to go back and tell himself that there was no need to put on this sexy charade and that soon he was going to meet a man that was going to be kind and supportive and that he could trust with all his heart.

Everything would have been easier if Link had met Shad first. If only they had crossed paths on campus on his first day or if they had shared one class… If only Shad had stopped by the coffee shop sooner, a hell of a lot of hurt to Link's head and heart could have been prevented.

It was easy to count all the ways things could have been different if only such-and-such had occurred instead. It was harder to accept the past for what it was and make the choice to move on. Link was never going to deny the fact that he had an exceptionally long list of sexual partners, that promiscuous was once an apt description for him, or that he had even been paid by some of his hookups. Those were all true, but they did not make up everything he was.

Link was a talented musician working his way through college at a coffee shop alongside his closest friend. He was a good student, but he was better with crafts, and he loved animals and kids. He was funny and sweet, and he had an amazing smile. And he was loved.

Link closed his account and deleted the app, repeating the process for all his other dating and hookup apps. There was no use in holding onto them anymore. He didn't need them.

Seeing what time it was and realizing that Shad was going to be here any moment, Link tossed on a pair of jeans and a Marin + the Seagulls T-shirt and blew around like a gust bellows tidying up his place. As long as he got the trash in the bin and his clothes in the hamper, everything would look a heck of a lot better. Less than ten minutes later, Link got a text from Shad that he was outside.

His heart was already all aflutter in his chest as Link headed to his door. The two of them had been so busy of lately that they had only been able to go on a short date once last week. Tonight, Shad was going to stay over. Link barely had the door open and said hello before he had an arm around Shad and hugged him. Texting and calling were all well and good, but Link missed being close to him. He didn't want to let go, but he wanted Shad in his apartment more.

Shad was carrying a gallon of milk by the handle wrapped in a plastic bag. "What's with the milk?" Link asked.

"You always need milk, old boy," Shad said. "You're the only person I know that can buy milk in the afternoon and need another gallon that evening." And Shad was not exaggerating.

"You didn't have to get that." Link appreciated the thought though.

"Some guys bring flowers. Others wine. I bring milk," Shad said, as he closed the refrigerator door.

"That's why you're the best," Link said, grinning. He was vibrating with excitement as he closed the distance between them. After all, there was no need to wait or no screens between them. No matter how advanced phones became, nothing was ever going to beat being face-to-face and holding your partner close. Shad pulled Link into a loose hug and into a string of short kisses.

His kisses were warm and comforting. Closest sensation that he could compare it to was the experience of putting on a beloved sweater on a chill, autumn morning for a day of peace and joy at home. Link's stomach fluttered as it pressed against Shad's. He was happy to be in Shad's arms after a week's absence. It felt like there was a ball of liquid sunlight in his chest. Link always pictured it as some honey-colored lava lamp goop that slowly rose from his belly and floated around, spreading love throughout his body. Link flicked his tongue against Shad's lips. Neither one could keep from smiling. Link missed this. Shad had too.

For the good of their lungs, Shad pulled away, though he did not step away from Link. Shad gazed reverently into his eyes. "It's so good to see you, my dear." Oh Goddesses, those cheekbones, that smile, his freckles… Link never thought that he was going to love a guy so much that he would find his freckles attractive.

"I like your shirt." Now that he was up close, Link could see that Shad's shirt was dotted with cute, happy turtles. "It's smart and adorable. Like you."

"Really? I was just hoping I didn't look silly," Shad said, his eyes widened. A blush rose on his cheeks. "...I bought it because it reminded me of you. Fun and bright."

Though Link certainly would not have minded if they had kept on making out in the middle of his kitchen, Link and Shad moved to the sofa. Not to start making out there but to talk, to check in with each other and find out what each had been doing in the other's absence. Link had left the television on for background noise earlier. Some sort of cooking competition was playing, but the sound was too low to hear.

"How was work today?" Shad asked. It was a perfectly normal, expected question that Link did not want to answer in the slightest. If he had just phrased the question a bit more open-ended, Link could have avoided discussing his day at work.

"Okay," Link replied, much too quickly and much too cheerfully. He should have just stuck his tongue in his mouth and kept at it. Shad would've gone along eventually.

There was a look in Shad's eyes that read that he sensed something was up from his response. "That's...good," he said, nodding his head. "It's just that I received a text from Ilia earlier and I was curious as to what had necessitated it."

"What did she say?" Link asked innocently. As if he had no idea what Ilia could have texted him about.

"That today has been a rough day for you so I should give you extra affection tonight," Shad said. "Specifically she sent me a big paragraph of kissing face emoji."

Link laughed, trying to downplay matters as much as possible. "Oh, we were joking about text walls of emoji on my break. She's just being goofy."

"I see," Shad said. "Did something happen at work though? Do you want to talk about it?"

Link put on a sweet smile. "It's not that big a deal—"

"So something _did_ happen."

Link wanted to kick himself for not being more careful with his words.

Shad was wonderfully perceptive about matters and Link's feelings. At this moment, Link wished he wasn't so keen. Tension stiffened his jaw. "It's over and done with," Link insisted, looking away. "I don't wanna talk about it. I just want to move on."

"It sounds to me that what occurred was rather serious and would benefit from a bit of discussion, old boy. You should vent. It's healthy."

"So are kale and push-ups." Link didn't mean for his words to sound so sarcastic but they were. His caustic reaction only drew more concern from Shad. It wasn't as if Link wanted to keep Purlo's visit a secret, he just didn't want to think about it again. Purlo was in the past and that was where he belonged. Him and all his hurtful words.

"If I'm overstepping, I won't pressure you any further," Shad said, resting a hand on Link's thigh. "...But I would like to know the gist of what had happened in time."

Shad knew that Link had been with a lot of guys, but Shad had neither asked nor had Link ever given him a number of how many guys he had ever been with. Shad didn't know about the post-breakup binges or the dating/hookup apps. He had never seen Link's pictures. If he told Shad what Purlo had said, then he might want to know more details. Things Link didn't want to discuss. And others he didn't want to relive. By now, Link knew the exact number of hookups it took to go from just having an active sex life to slut-shaming, and he was well past the latter at this point. Link didn't want to give him a number and then see Shad wrinkle his nose in disgust and look as if he wanted to shower in hand sanitizer. The ghosts from his past weren't going to muck up the good thing he had going with Shad.

"It's really not that—" Link didn't finish the rest of his sentence. He was going to say that it really wasn't that important, but he knew that Shad was just going to say that it was, especially since Link had an aversion to simply coming out with it. Link never had a problem with being open and honest without reasons.

Shad patiently waited for an answer. He rubbed his thumb across Link's thigh as a small reassurance that he was there and that it was all going to be okay. The feeling was both wonderful and disappointingly inadequate. It was like being thirsty in the middle of the night and the only drink in his reach didn't have enough of a drop left in it to wet his lips. Link wanted to go back to kissing. It still wasn't enough for him but it was more than this.

Tonight, Link just wanted to be with Shad. He just wanted everything to be right in his world again, and right now Link wanted the brush of Shad's lips, his hands and mouth exploring his body, and the entire weight of his body pressing down on him. Link ached for warmth and intimacy. They had been separated for too long.

"Follow me," Link said, taking hold of Shad's wrist and leading him the short distance to his bedroom.

Shad didn't ask any questions but the look on his face was puzzled by Link's urgency.

"I need to be close to you," he explained, as he stopped them by his bed. He untucked Shad's shirt and told him to take it off.

"Of course," Shad replied, as he unbuttoned his shirt. Shad knew what Link meant and what they were doing. He understood that this was not sexual and that it was not going to lead to sex. He understood that this was something that Link needed from him, something that was as essential to their relationship as open, honest communication. Most of his exes didn't understand and had never listened. For years, Link never got what he needed, not fully. Their focus was never on him.

Link stripped back down to his boxers while Shad only removed his shirt. It was all he needed to take off for this to work. Link laid down on the bed, settled in, and exhaled a breath that he didn't realize that he had been holding.

And then Shad crawled onto the bed, creaking and popping as it yielded to Shad's weight, until he was straddling Link's hips. The clock by Link's bed read seven minutes after six. It was evening, but the deep golden rays of twilight were more than an hour away. Soft evening sunlight slipped in from the half-opened blinds and lit the two of them and the room in muted light and gentle shadows.

Shad waited until Link gave him permission to continue. When Link nodded to go ahead, Shad removed his glasses and set them on the nightstand and then laid himself over Link. He buried his face into his pillow, finding himself an air pocket in the space between the pillow and the curve of Link's neck, and held Link as completely and closely as the size and shape of his body allowed him.

Link had closed his eyes and uttered a pleased sigh as Shad had lowered himself on top of him. Shad was warm. His body heat sent tingles across his skin from the moment their bodies made contact. Link was completely pinned against the bed under Shad's full weight. With his arms flattened against his sides, all Link was able to do was ineffectually flop his legs around. It was hard for Link to breathe. Shad didn't have as much trouble, his breaths measured and warm against Link's neck.

All this inescapable body heat and deep pressure and skin-to-skin contact—this was everything Link wanted. It didn't matter to him that he wasn't able to take a full breath or whether parts of him went numb or ached the longer he had Shad lay on him. Link enjoyed the pressure. He loved the sensation of being blanketed by another person. It made him feel safe and protected.

Shad knew what to do and what Link wanted. Shad did not speak. Shad minimized his movements. He understood that what Link wanted was to be close to him right now and nothing more. All of this was solely for Link's well-being. Shad never tried to sweet-talk him into having sex or called him crazy for not jumping to sex the first moment they were alone together again. He never tried to convince Link to push aside whatever unattended needs and emotions him was dealing with in order to get him to perform on him. Link didn't have to uncomfortably pretend to be some happy, sexy flirt to get what he wanted from Shad. Link asked to be held and Shad held him. It was as simple as that.

Warm exhales. Beating hearts. Link's mind drifted away, like a paper boat on a lazy river, as he glided his hands across Shad's upper back and shoulder blades and up his neck. Something on Shad smelled woodsy and brought Link to his favorite places back home—the forests he used to wander from dawn to dusk, the kudzu vines towers that Link was still convinced housed otherworldly creatures from another age, and the deep thicket where the fairy spring that fed all the creeks was located. They were all places he loved and places he felt like he belonged.

Link wanted more contact. He wanted to be even closer to Shad. He closed his legs and clinched his thighs around Shad's waist. The seat of Shad's pants pressed against Link's boxers, and the friction caused their privates to react a bit to the stimulation, but this was not about satiating that kind of skin hunger. Later, they would, yes, but not right now. No, Link needed to be made whole again first.

Link crossed his ankles, held onto Shad's shoulders, and clung to him. Even though he knew that he was already bone-achingly close, he wished that he could be even closer. Link was squeezed so tightly he was barely able to gasp, and tears welled in his eyes, but he did not mind one bit.

Only because his lungs burned for new air, Link signaled to Shad to ease off. Slowly, Link unclenched his body and sunk back against the bed. He dropped his legs open. It felt good to let his chest expand and take in full breaths again. That first lungful after Shad had lifted off of him felt like his soul rushing back into his body.

"How do you feel, old boy?" Shad asked. He had propped himself up with his arms. Now that the sun was setting, there was more shadow than light throughout the room, but the gold and amber twilight cut through the blinds.

Link grinned. "Cared for."

Shad softly chuckled at his reply. "Well, you're always that." Shad leaned down as Link raised his head and their lips met. This, this he wanted too, because Link loved to be touched—little or a lot, any and every way—and Shad was happy to oblige him.

A tiny lick across his bottom lip. A few gentle suckles on his chin. Link turned his head and stretched his neck to give Shad more access. He uttered soft _ahs _as Shad made tiny nips and licks to his throat and on down to his collarbone. Link knew that if he let Shad go on, this really would turn sexual and Link wasn't ready to let this result in sex yet. His exes used to push him into having sex as soon as his need to be close was fulfilled. They thought it was a fetish of some sort. Link didn't want to be reminded of that.

As Shad brushed his lips across Link's collarbone to his shoulders, Link knew that Shad wasn't thinking about what he was going to get in return. This wasn't a trade-off, no "I did the thing you wanted, now you have to give me mine". If anything, Shad was still doing this for Link's sake more than his own. Because Link loved to be touched and, whether he had to use his hands, mouth, or his whole body, by golly, Shad was going to tease, tempt, and titillate every inch of his skin. He was going to drown him in love until Link fell asleep in his arms a tired, happy boyfriend.

As wonderful as all of that sounded and despite wanting Shad to go on, Link had to stop him. Maybe, one day, what his exes did wasn't going to matter to him and that there wasn't going to be a whisper of doubt in his head that Shad's affection was entirely conditional.

Link couldn't just tell Shad to stop though. He was going to spend the rest of the night ruminating over what he had done wrong if Link just suddenly told him to quit. He knew of one thing that was going to get his attention, however.

"One of my exes came into work," Link said. "Some things he said to me stuck with me."

Sure enough, Shad paused his oral admiration of Link's every dip and curve and peered up. "Oh?"

The pause was more needed than Link had realized it was, his thoughts were getting too heady and his body too difficult to ignore. "...Does it ever bother you that I've been with a lot of guys?" Link wasn't able to look into Shad's eyes, wide with curiosity. Link tossed his gaze to the ceiling.

"Not at all," Shad said, with a tiny laugh in disbelief that Link had thought that he was going to be bothered in the first place. "I'm not as pure as the first snow in those regards either, my dear."

"Yea, but I've been with _a lot_ more." Not even Link knew how many exactly, but it was enough that there was a chance that he and Shad could stop into a bar for drinks one evening and Link could have slept with every guy in the room. It was a small probability, mostly unlikely, but it was more likely to happen than say, him running into Purlo again, and Link had already lost that game of chance.

"You've also consumed far more bowls of Choctorok cereal than I have," Shad said. "And as far as I'm concerned the exact total of both bears the same matter of importance to me."

So in other words, Shad didn't care about how many guys he had been with. "You don't ever wonder..." Link couldn't finish the rest of his sentence.

"You told me everything I wanted to know," he said. "This you is all I've ever known and it's all I will know. I don't need to think about how many guys you've been with. I'm with you now. If I did think about how you used to be, all I would think about is how I wish I could have met you sooner."

But it seemed that all of Link's worrying was unfounded. It didn't matter to him. Even if Link told him the exact number, it did not matter.

Shad planted a long kiss on his forehead and then sat back up. Link wasn't ready to have Shad out of his reach. He wasn't sure if he was ever ready to have Shad out of his reach. Shad gazed down and smiled, his expression as soft as the last of the fading twilight glow. "You're doing so much better, made so much progress, and I'm so happy for you. But there's still a part of you that's waiting for the illusion in the bubble to burst. But there is no illusion. I love you, old boy."

And he meant it. And Shad was right. There was a part of Link that was worried that he'd wake up to discover that Shad was just a dream his lonely heart had conjured up after another rough shift. Time and more talking was going to be the key to silencing that tiny, persisting voice that even now grumbled that he didn't deserve Shad.

He did though. Link had never asked for much, but Shad was everything he wanted.

Of course, Link told Shad that he loved him too. "You have no idea how much that means to me to hear you say that," Link said, feeling a wash of emotions, all of them good. If it wasn't for the fact that he was laying on his back, he was sure that his eyes would be a bit misty.

"I know that you needed to hear it sooner. You should have heard it," Shad said.

All of those good emotions and the absence of the bad culminated in a tide of "Oh Goddesses, I love you so much..." And Link lay, shivering, unable to express how fiercely he loved him. He couldn't find the words, didn't know if the right ones existed. He was certain that if he tried to tell him, all he'd be able to voice was only going to come out as a guttural growl.

Link wanted to be crushed underneath Shad again, to be held so tightly he was barely able to breathe again. He couldn't hide the evidence that he was getting turned on.

Scooting out from underneath him just a bit, Link sat up and wrapped his arms around Shad, who was now in his lap, and buried his face in the pit of his chest. The closeness, the sense of belonging, the smell of home, and a warm, masculine body to hold and love him now and forever—Link was never more happier.


End file.
